“9 months of GROWTH for both of us.
Pregnancy felt long, yet the 9 months of you growing earth side seemed to fly both equally fast and, in some parts, so very painfully slow.
When I birthed her into this world, I had no idea I also would be totally reborn.
It’s beautiful, powerful, confusing, and painful.
All the different emotions manage to surge within you, seemingly at the same time.
We nurture, care, and raise our children all while trying to understand and care for ourselves in the moments we have left.
While I have struggled this postpartum, hit the lowest of lows, I look back at the photo on the left and remember the pain, but I also look at it with a fondness.
I am soft, vulnerable, lost but also happy, proud and in awe of this beautiful human being who lay next to me who only a mere week before was inside of me.
9 months of growth for us both.
9 months on and I haven’t bounced back…I never intended to.
My life and body is only going one way and that’s forward.
My body is still soft – but there is STRENGTH in that softness.
To grow a life, my body had to make room, to stretch and grow – it is soft because it needed to have the strength to support life itself.
9 months on and I’m still vulnerable, but I no longer see it as weakness.
It is a sign of strength, courage, and bravery.
I have learned to lean into to it. Being vulnerable is raw and truthful.
There is no hiding in it. It has taught me to listen to myself, connect and more than ever authentically live my truth.
9 months on and life has gotten clearer – the pain has gone.
It’s still messy, confusing, exhausting, and at times stinky.
9 months on and we have both grown and gotten stronger.
9 months on and my darling baby girl has taught me so much in her short time. I’m sure she will continue to teach me for the rest of my life.
9 months on and writing this I have tears streaming down my face, thinking about it all and of my darling daughter.
9 months ago as you were born…
‘Cover Me In Sunshine’ played softly in the background.
And that you have done everyday of your life. I love you.
Esme Phoenix.
Just like the Phoenix, I have been rebirthed into the truest version of me.”
This story was submitted to Love What Matters by Rose Oates of Perth, Western Australia and originally appeared here. You can follow her journey on Instagram and her blog. Submit your own story here, and be sure to subscribe to our free email newsletter for our best stories, and YouTube for our best videos.
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